SITE MOVED!!

maybe this is art?

2009-09-14T20:51:00.001-07:00

here's the new website.

www.maybethisisart.com

it's not fancy yet. i'm still figuring out how to do things. I've got a lot of posts a-brewin...just waiting to pace them out and post them.

Can't wait to hear what you guys think!

seriously...it's coming

2009-09-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

I know you all are waiting with baited breath (is that really the phrase?)...and i hope that the waiting does not leave you expecting too much of this new blog/website...but it's coming.

i worked on it last night. the structure is there--just need to transfer over some old posts to fill it in. IN THE MEANTIME--i've got sooo many new posts brewing...i'm so excited.

this blog, dare i say website, will have:

more pictures
more projects
more resources
more recipes
more parts of me showcased (showcased? that scares me)

(as long as i update it, that is)

be patient

2009-08-18T08:31:00.001-07:00

Get ready friends....there will be a new website coming soon.

if you can tell by this blog, i'm not super website-saavy. i'm trying to get help to make things look better and maybe be more resourceful for the avg. viewer.

more to come.

2009-08-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

I found a new blog friend. well, she is my friend. she doesn't know about me. yet. I love her blog and pretty much love her life. What a gem of a woman.

The last 24 hours have been simply domestic and wonderful. Baking (chocolate cups with mascarpone cheese and raspberries; macaroons), cooking (homemade gorditas and corn tortillas), and sewing a darling apron using ruffles for Jenny DoanEspe (don't esk me). I'm now determined to use ruffles on everything, grow in my sewing skills and make myself a dress. I went to Beverly's to grab some wonderful teal polkadot fabric to start my dress. I only wish you didn't have to wash fabric first--as with most Americans, I have a problem with delayed gratification.

I've usually been hesitant with posting blog updates that don't share something profound or insightful--sharing a process or new bit of wisdom. But it's becomming more and more appealing. If only I could become a better photographer so that I could post some of my creations, garden, life with you all. Ahh, the joys of being able to share things with strangers. It's just so weird but it helps to reflect on how wonderful my life is.

FIBBY!!

2009-07-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

I've kinda resigned myself to using this blog not just for writing--but also sharing my daily thoughts. I'm a bit bummed about that. I wish I were writing more. But hey, can't do everything at once, right?

My good friend wrote me an email at 6am saying that she wasn't inviting me over but demanding that I come over to hang out with her and her family. So i went. We had breakfast for dinner with their 3 beautiful kids. I got to laugh, hug kids, watch the finale of the Bachelorette, dream about my future with Kip (Katie and Kiptyn 2010)...ha...

Sarah, I just love you a lot. You are a wonderful friend. Thank you for being thoughtful and faithful through the ups and downs of life. You are a blessing to your family and to your friends (even on the bad days).

2009-07-27T13:32:00.001-07:00

Just took a beautiful walk to the beach on my lunch break.
I need to stop more--to watch how nature interacts
I like to smile and laugh at things when I'm by myself. It makes me smile even more. I need to do that more.

I saw whales. A whale. I think it was a whale--probably a seal. but let's go for whale. It would go underwater and my eyes would scan for where it was going to come up again. I pretended like we were playing a little game.

i'm trying to change my perspective on life.
memorizing Ephesians 3 helps.

Eventually, you have to come up for air.

I also drank a cup of tea today instead of coffee--yup, Katie Hund, the one who calls tea "dirty water". it wasn't that good--but i think avoiding coffee today will be good on my fickle tummy.

i am driving in the right lane

2009-07-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

This morning I drove to work in the right lane.
Most mornings, once I get to Soquel ave, I head over to the left lane to avoid the merge at Morrissey and people taking the 17.

This morning I drove in the right lane--the whole time.

Once on Mission, I just drove. I didn't look ahead. Usually, when I see a car stopping to turn left, I immediately go over to the right lane to avoid the blockage. I didn't do that today.

I didn't check my clock to see if I was late. I just drove in a daze. It didn't help that I forgot my coffee and breakfast at home--or that i'm completely overwhelmed at work--or that I don't remember the last time I prayed with other people. Or that there are women in my office that bring in fresh dahlias and peonies every day from their garden--and my garden is dead.

Apathy (for me) is driving in the right lane.

Rhetorical Questions

2009-07-22T12:36:00.001-07:00

You may choose to try and answer any of these questions if you'd like. They weren't really written to be answered though.

In the face of California's budget crisis--does it make sense that the city of Los Angeles should cover the 1.4 million dollar bill for Michael Jackson's funeral?
Do you think the older woman coworker who asked me yesterday if needed a hug--and then proceeded to hug me--knew that she was the first person to hug me in days?
Do you think my daily sentiments would change if I received more physical affection?
Why do conversations like this happen?

K: How's your church going?
W: good! hmmm. about 150-160 people...
K: uhh. cool?

How different is this conversation from the actual sentiments in my life?

W: you know, you've got a good thing going!
K: yeah?
W: Yeah! you've come a long way since I first met you. Seems like you've got it figured out. You've created a good life for yourself here. Everything is in order.
K: i guesss, yeah.
W: I know you can't see it because it happens so slow.
K: yeah, it's hard because even when it seems like you have "everything in order", you can still feel unsettled.

How I fill my days...

2009-07-13T14:57:00.000-07:00

I stare at the same things most days on my computer screen--flipping back and forth between my google homepage, cnn headlines, google reader and facebook.

I recall my dreams (future and past). Today there was a moment from my dream last night that is haunting me--with beauty and longing. I don't think i've had a dream quite like it in a while.

Sitting and waiting--for something to capture my attention, for an update that would interest me. For something to get caught up in. I think of things to write--but am too bored to do it.

Maybe it doesn't help that I don't know what my job is--or that i'm listening to sappy folk music, or that the thought of doing this forever scares the shit out of me.

Kids' need for adult community

2009-03-18T21:34:00.001-07:00

I've been reading a psychotherapy book about the development of the personality. This excerpt touches on just one aspect of why relationships between kids and adults are desperately important to the development of a child.

"During the course of development various people other than the parents, with whom the child comes in contact, may become emotionally important to it. The typical instance is the school-teacher. A favourite teacher may evoke latent potentialities in the child by providing a model with which the child can identify itself. often such an identification goes temporarily too far and the child may, in his enthusiasm, take over attitudes and characteristics which again will be later discarded--just as in the case of the parents. But often something remains; some part of the child's personality has been evoked and continues to play its part in actual life. Often the traits which are evoked in this way are those which the parents themselves do not exhibit, and which are therefore liable to remain latent unless the child comes across someone who will evoke them. This positive type of identification is an argument for the widest possible type of education; for the school with a wide range of staff, not the private tutor..."

--excerpt from "The Integrity of the Personality" by Anthony Storr

The life you save may be your own

2009-07-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

1. I’ve always had the dream of buying a motorhome and living in it for a year. Traveling around or even staying put—just living at the beach. Working, living, reading, having friends over to play cards at the camper table.

2. I’ve always had the dream of being married for a bit before having kids. (which means that I’ve dreamed about getting married and also having kids).

3. I’ve always dreamed of owning a home.

4. I’ve dreamed of going to Africa and/or dropping everything to serve the poor and get my hands dirty.

5. I’ve dreamed of being a business woman.

6. I’ve dreamed of working at a church again.

7. I’ve dreamed of being involved at a church with my husband. Teaching, partnering, mentoring, hosting events…

8. I’ve dreamed of not having a job—gardening, cooking, walking—yet having enough going on in my life that it doesn’t make me depressed.

But when do I plan on doing all these things? I am now 26. Haven’t started on many of these endeavors. Or have tried to and haven’t made much progress (e.g. 2, 5, 8). As I see these dreams setting before my eyes I am reminded that life is short. Jacob Kirkendall was trying to put out a fire at the beach and is now extremely, burnt internally and externally, undergoing surgery and paralyzed in the hospital. Lee Purkey will die from melanoma while his kids are still young. My dad only has a few years left to finish all the things he wants to do.

So I’m here—working at a job I don’t like—hoping that maybe, somehow it can get better. I can see potential for myself here but it seems like such a long way off.

I’m currently living a life that I love. But I’m realizing how I’m living the life of a 35 year old woman. I AM NOT 35 YET. I bake, cook, garden. When I come home from a boring day at work—all I think of doing is making a delicious dinner, having a glass of wine and watching Jeopardy. How will I fulfill said dreams this way? I have had the mantra of “live the life you want—now!”. But is this really the life I want? Single, playing in a sandbox full of married couples, working as an assistant raising money for a university I transferred away from? Or is this lifestyle enabling me of actually achieving the life I want? If there line drawn between proactive and patience, is it 50/50?

Is it worth risking some of the above dreams in order to gain others?

My Daily Walk: kids and puppies

2009-06-01T13:54:00.001-07:00

consumed at work by spreadsheets, numbers and names, I decided to go for my regular walk around the neighborhood. Feeling more directed (God?) towards walking on San Jose ave instead of my usual Swanton to West Cliff route, I followed my instincts and cut thru the park.

a dad with his 7 and 3 year-old daughters were skateboarding at the skate park. At the site of a 3 year old with her oversized helmet and kid-sized board, I smiled and decided this might be worth sticking around for. I ventured to the swings to sit, listen to music and watch the fog burn off. I was soon interrupted (not really interrupted at all, actually) by the little girl who wanted to swing with me.
I: I'm coming to swing with you!
K: Hi! Are you 3?
I: Yeah, I'm three.
K: What's your name?
I: Isabella
K: Hi Isabella, i'm katie.
I: Hi. nice to meet you. there's lots of Katie's around here.
K: oh
I: I swing on my belly and you swing on your butt.
K: yup!

So much joy in a child. Joy that i've been missing. Simple, unashamed, unconcerned, free. As I sat there swinging, not thinking this situation could get much better, out of the corner of my eye I see a small puppy running around the grass. toddlers and puppies--just what i needed.

Isabella got off her swing and started chasing the puppy (which she said was hers and even made up a name for it--but i could tell it was not her dog) all around the grass. The puppy wanted nothing to do with her. She took her helmet off--not sure if that was to give her more mobility for the chase or if she thought THAT (as opposed to her screaming and chasing the poor pup) was the reason he was running away from her.

Our time ended with her inviting me to go play on the other jungle gym with her. I declined and decided to continue my walk--

down San Jose ave--remembering when Kristin used to live there
nasturtium covered sidewalks
walked by the house that is never finished. (UPDATE: they have completely rebuilt the foundation and the wall structures and have halted the process again. beautiful house-gutted-rebuilt-waiting to be rebuilt completely. that process sounds familiar).
picked a flower to bring back to my office
examining the rose bushes as they are regrowing from their yearly pruning. leaves sprouting from branches that look dead (ahhh, the analogies....)

I need a little innocence in my life. Little moments of being carefree. Not so many serious conversations, deep analysis or counseling myself and others regarding our fallen state, our hopes, our longings and our lifestyles.

Just give me some kids, puppies, a swing set and a garden and I'll be fine.

benefits of teaching

2009-04-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

I love teaching. Sitting at coffeehouses, outside in the sun or walking on the beach contemplating the teaching topic and how it can be translated to a group of people. I love the idea that there is an outlet for me to dig further into the insights God has given me and communicate that to others.

But long after the message is done, the benefits of teaching are still lingering. As I sit here tonight journaling about life I realize how much the concepts I once taught to others are now teaching me once again.

I am reminded that I am God's MASTERPIECE, his work of art, his poem--as I taught 3 years ago to elementary school kids.
When I am in the garden, I am constantly contemplating the abundant analogies of God's character, faith and spirituality (too many to mention here). I remember the line that I taught from, which staff member at Camp Hammer still have memorized and recite to me often, "I am vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit. but, apart from me you can do nothing"
When I am alone and lonely, I remember that I am homesick for heaven and that my longings will one day be fulfilled when I see Jesus face to face...which I got to teach about a few months ago to a group of high school students.

I am grateful for all the avenues that bring further knowledge and understanding to my soul

Anonymous Work Related Letters

2009-03-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

I came across this letter today:

Dear ________,

I don't know what your mom taught you, but it is just plain rude to stand and stare at someone when they are on the phone. It seems as though you have something important to say...BUT, you can tell that I am on the phone with a business related phone call. I usually give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are unaware of my prior commitment to the person on the phone. So I point at my ear and whisper, "I'm on the phone". You look at me as if that has no affect on you and continue to stand and stare.

-If you were more than 2 feet away from me, I would feel more comfortable.
-If you weren't staring at my computer screen and reading my stuff, I would feel more comfortable.
-If, when I whispered, "is this an emergency?", you quietly replied "no" and back peddled toward your office, I would feel more comfortable.
-If, when I interrupt my WORK-RELATED phone call to ask you, "can I come into your office when I'm done?", you gave me some sort of sign that you are picking up on my hints--I would feel more comfortable.
-If I could be more than 90% confident that you weren't looking down my shirt, I would feel more comfortable.
-IF YOU DIDN'T DO THIS ON A WEEKLY BASIS, I WOULD FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.

Sincerely,
_________

on another note, not completely unrelated:

Dear New Zealand,
I am coming to see you in June for 4 weeks. We might just have to extend that trip.
Love,
Katie

and:

Dear Economy,
Please pick up.
Best,
Katie

Tilling the spring soil

2009-03-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

The multi-level planters surrounding the perimeter of my yard were made for growth; ideal for an organic vegetable garden. Gratitude filled my heart every time I looked outside until I looked at the soil and how much work would be needed to make the ground a hospitable environment for my little garden seedlings. Cracked clay- like dirt made me doubt whether any plant variety had made their home there before my takeover.

So I purchased a tool—a tiller thingy like you see on the infomercials. As I sit here typing my arms burn from pounding it into the dirt and turning clockwise until the dirt broke; I only got through about 1/10th of the ground that cries out to be tilled (“till me, Katie!”).

The tilling process left me with better ground but still not appropriate for growth. Much more work needed to be done. The balls of dirt that resembled rocks melted as they rolled between my palms. Breaking down the remnants of the clay it once was. They looked like rocks. Any small child would have stacked them, thrown them or put them in their pocket, only to be surprised that, when handled aggressively enough, they would break apart showing their true identity. We are not made of rock. The clumps of dirt from our past, like calcium build-ups in the top of the Brita, hold fast to each other making it difficult to decipher if they are permanent fixtures in our life. But as the gardener, with hands that wont grow weary as mine are, squeezes them and rolls them between his hands, they slowly disintegrate creating an environment ideal for growth and cultivating fruit.

As the day ends, I am nowhere near ready to plant. There is much more to be done. But there is a portion of my soul (and my soil) that is soft and broken down.

Missed Connections: a great one!

2009-03-26T15:42:00.000-07:00

The Young Man Who Let Me Talk (santa cruz)
Reply to: pers-cqpvd-1093185389@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-03-26, 11:20AM PDT

I was sitting alone on the bench overlooking the ocean. You saw me cry. You asked if I was ok. You sat next to me and let me talk. I explained that I had just lost my son. You never asked questions. You just let me talk. How nice it was for such a kind man to lend an ear to another man. I know men are to portray the pillars of strength. But when a man looses his son. The pillars fall. You touched my hand and said god will bless you. I never got your name. But thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Mark

"Sexting" is a new word, used in the news.

2009-03-25T13:44:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine from church back home was recently arrested for sexually assaulting a minor. Put more frankly, "sexting" and having oral sex with a girl under 16 when he was 25. Knowing him and loving him, I feel sad and embarrassed and upset that this happened. It seemed like there was no accountability. I can just imagine how easily these things can happen. In addition to the article, I found it fascinating all the comments that people left. I couldn't track down the good ones I read last week, but I included a few samples. Not only is his life in shambles, but the message being sent about Christians is unfortunate.

FORMER YOUTH PASTOR TO BE ARRAIGNED FOR SEXUALLY ASSAULTING 16-YEAR-OLD FEMALE PARISHIONER AND TEXTING SEXUAL MESSAGES TO VICTIM’S 15-YEAR-OLD RELATIVE

NEWPORT BEACH – A former youth pastor at a Santa Margarita church will be arraigned today for sexually assaulting a 16-year-old female parishioner and sending sexual text messages to her 15-year-old female relative. Shane Garrett Horning, 28, San Jose, is charged with four felony counts of oral copulation with a minor under 16 for Jane Doe #1. As to Jane Doe #2, he is charged with one felony count of distributing lewd material to a minor and one misdemeanor count of child annoyance. He faces a maximum sentence of four years and eight months in state prison if convicted. The People will be requesting $100,000 bail at Horning’s arraignment today, March 12, 2009, at 1:30 p.m. at the Harbor Justice Center in Newport Beach. The Department is to be determined.

Horning is accused of meeting Jane Doe #1 while working as a youth pastor at Santa Margarita Methodist Church. Between January 2005 and January 2006, Horning is accused of sending Jane Doe #1, then 16 years old, sexually suggestive text messages. The defendant was 25 years old at the time. Horning is accused of having Jane Doe #1 come to his home on several occasions to orally copulate him. The defendant left Santa Margarita Methodist Church in approximately 2006 and eventually moved to San Jose. Jane Doe #1 did not disclose the sexual assault until 2009, when she learned that Jane Doe #2 could be victimized by Horning.

In January 2009, Horning is accused of sending sexual text messages to Jane Doe #1’s 15-year-old female relative, Jane Doe #2. Jane Doe #1 disclosed the sexual assault and text messages to her and Jane Doe #2 to her parents.

COMMENTS:
dont blame the church
things like this can happen anywhere with anyone...its not a reason to give the church a bad name. It is NOT the churches falut.
Posted by annonymous at 12:32 pm Mar 18, 2009

Here is the #1 reason
Not to send your child to church !!
Posted by sick of Melissa at 11:58 pm Mar 13, 2009

WATCH OUT!
BOYS AND GIRLS, THEY WARNED YOU ABOUT STRANGERS WELL SOMEONE NEEDS TO WARN YOU ABOUT TEACHERS AND CHURCH MEMBERS. THEY ARE IN THOSE PROFESSIONS TO GET YOU!!!! IF YOU THINK THEY ARE THERE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE DON'T BELIVE IT THEY LOVE THE FRINGE BENEFITS PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
Posted by WATCHOUT! at 6:17 pm Mar 12, 2009

Children's Sermons

2009-03-23T15:53:00.000-07:00

ahhh...Children's Time in front of church. What a great topic idea! So honored that you thought of me, Tim!

Personally, I can't get ENOUGH of children's time at church. As Bill Cosby always says, "kids say the darnedest things". I love when they pick their nose, raise their hands, cry, get up and wander around, hit other kids and yell out funny answers. I will say what else I love about children's time in the larger worship gathering, then I will pose a few questions:

1. The kids are involved. They are invited to the gathering and invited to be a part. Not only are they just side members of the community, but the leadership is making a statement in saying that KIDS ARE A PART. They are welcome to sing, learn and laugh along with everyone else. AS THEY SHOULD.

2. It allows members of the community, both young, old, parents or non-parents, to SEE the children in the community. They get to see faces, hear their thoughts and cherish them. When adults only see other adults, they are missing a huge part of peoples lives. Yes, parents are individuals outside of just being parents (I should talk about this later--remind me). But I always used to tell people that when you see a parent by themselves, you see a part of them...but when you see them with their children you get a better sense of their life. You can see their struggles, their joy, their family and their need. It visualizes the life they actually live and how the community can and should be a part of that.

3. kids bring a joy and sense of humor that is beyond any joke I could ever tell. It's unexplainable.

4. I personally learn more through a children's sermon than most other things. Simple, to the point, humorous. Seriously pastors, consider calling it a day at the children's sermon.

Now: a few other thoughts:

1. Do the kids actually learn through this form of teaching? What is the point? The kids are learning from up front from the pastor and then they go into their classes to learn some more. Sometimes the teaching is not relevant to the age group (as there are often a wide range of kids up there) and I don't think I would learn well at 4 if I was under a spot light, in front of a crowd of people taking pictures, listening to a man talk about fishing. Fishing for men, that is. (and how does THAT make sense to a 4 year old).

2. So if the point is that they want to really teach the kids a message, that might not be the best medium. If the point is that they want to get the kids involved in the gathering, I think there are much more creative and constructive ways to engage kids in the larger worship gathering. Give them a place to serve. Have them be a part of the regular functions (offering, prayer, communion, greeting)...show them how to use their gifts in a constructive way and actually ENGAGE with the community--as opposed to being on display once a month and during Christmas and easter.

3. Lastly, as with everything, I think the question we should ask is, "what message is this sending to these kids?" I don't know if i have an answer to that and I think it depends a lot upon the circumstance. Maybe they are walking away feeling exploited, maybe they are learning deep inside that they are welcome in the larger gathering, maybe they are learning that church can be funny (because all the adults are laughing, or maybe they learn that whenever they are at church they never can really understand what they are talking about (that was me).

Okay. those are my thoughts. As always, tell me what you think.

The Nest

2009-03-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dear The Nest,

Sorry to attack the principles that you were founded on, but the truth is, I want your stuff. I may not be married, but I sure love to entertain. Your articles on sex and pregnancy may not be of interest to me in this phase of life, but I scored high on your "Are you prepared for entertaining" quiz.

Why wait till after you tie The Knot to love life and be hospitable? Let's do this now.

In conclusion, I am pleased that you made the "spouses name" category optional. But know that I was well prepared with a fake husband's name and wedding date. Your premise that The Knot + The Nest = real life is bogus.

Sincerely,

Kathryn Wylie Hund

p.s. bitches.

Models and Effort

2009-03-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

A good question to ask when thinking about creating a ministry is "what are other people doing?" Most business fields rely heavily on "best practices". The church is no stranger to that mindset (although I personally think those in the church are less likely to admit it).

It was once asked of me, in a conversation that turned out to be more monumental than I ever could have expected (and haunts me to this day), "Do you know of any churches that are a good model for the type of children's ministry you are talking about?". My answer was no. My answer was not no for the sake of being negative--or thinking that all churches are doing it wrong. My answer was no because I had never seen a perfect example of a church that combines all the things I was dreaming about. That is not to say that it doesn't exist--or even that all the things I think about are perfect and appropriate. I think there are TONS of churches that are doing WONDERFUL things out there. I've seen great examples of people that are putting in the EFFORT to rethink the way that ministry to kids is done (like Karen Rogers at Imago Dei).

It takes effort to rethink the way things are done. Rethinking doesn't even equal change--it just is going back to the roots of where it began and asking--What was the original need for this ministry? Does that need still exist? If yes, is our method of meeting that need still appropriate? If no, are there different needs now than there were before--and how can we go about meeting those needs.

The reality is, the beginning of the Sunday School movement was driven by delinquency during the industrial revolution. Children needed something to do on Sundays (there one day off of work) and they also needed to be taught how to read. Need: Illiteracy and delinquency. The Fix: hire teachers to give them a place to go, teach them how to read (conveniently from the Bible) and hope that this would produce better citizens of society and Christian adults.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but those are definitely not the same needs that children these days have. Delinquency and Illiteracy still abound, but there are community programs that exist to serve those purposes. If that is our passion behind ministry to children, we should partner with those organizations. Furthermore, kids are in school for 5 days a week already. They aren't working in the factory.

Obviously, I am questioning the need for a Sunday "school" within our churches. What do you think?

Early Beginnings of the Sunday School Movement

2009-03-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

In order to understand a bit more about Children's Ministry, we need to look at where it began. Indulge me for a minute:

One result of the Enlightenment period in the 1700’s was a desire for state-sponsored schools. There were new theories of education coming from people like Rosseau, Pestalozzi and Froebel and a strong push to explore the liberal arts. Catholic catechetical schools had left a bad taste for religious education and these schools took control of education away from the church.

Industrial Revolution put poor kids to work long hours. The result of this was increased crime in the cities, especially on Sundays—kids one day off work. These kids were not able to be educated.

There grew a need to integrate the new educational theories with Protestant theology.

Robert Raikes Jr., an owner of a newspaper, set out to make Glouchester England a better place for its citizens. He sought first to improve the penal system but soon realized that the only way to do that was through solving the problem of crime before people could enter prison.

He began instructing them in READING and the church catechism. Raikes paid the teachers himself and was encouraged along the way by the church, although not overwhelmingly supported.

Curriculum: he knew that kids could not read the Bible without knowing how to read. So the two purposes of these Sunday Schools were:

1.The education of reading, writing, morals and manners
2.To evangelize to kids and offer them new life in Jesus

After 50 years, in 1835, there were approx. 1.5 million people attending Sunday school in England alone! For most of the kids, this was their only form of education.

This movement soon spread to adults and then on to North America.

The purposes morphed throughout the years, so that by the 1900’s the main goals for both adults and children were:

1. Evangelism
2. Edification

Prologue to Children's Ministry

2009-03-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

In an effort to "engage once again", I will tap into something that is dear to my heart--something that I have spent hours pondering, dreaming and talking about, experiencing, experientially learning and crying over.

The topic is ministry to kids and families. What does it mean? Why do we do what we do? What could we be doing? Who does it? Is it really an "it" to talk about? Sheesh...so much to say. I decided to start engaging again with this topic for a few reasons: 1. I've invested so much thought into it and 2. i got an email from someone who was inquiring my thoughts about children's ministry for a start-up church. My initial instinct was to list out my random ideas, joys, frustrations and warnings about children's ministry. In the end, I decided to just start talking about
my thoughts and the ways I have engaged with the subject. Hopefully this would spark questions, answers, ideas and vision for this person specifically and others that read it.

DISCLAIMER:

Those that know me will know that I used to be a Director of Children's Ministry at a church. I loved my job. I loved what I got to do, the people I got to do it with and the families that I got to love and be in community with. I am no longer in that position or a part of that community. I hope that God will continue to bless those people. Unfortunately, it was necessary for me to leave that position. Simply put, I was not able to actualize the potential or vision for children's ministry that I believe God has given me.
enough said.

The point of beginning to write about children's ministry is not to speak aobut the things i wished i could do--or any disappointments I might have had in leaving. It is simply to interact once again with the questions I have and the values I ponder. I hope that you will interact, ask questions and voice your thoughts.

Thanks for reading! I mean it, really. (as margaret and helen would say)

Update in bullet form: 3/11/09

2009-03-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

Alright party people. Let the blogging begin (in bullets, of course):

-I have gone back and tagged my blogs with themes. Maybe that will make my blog more exciting?

-I am going to embark on a writing project revolving around ministry to kids and families. This has been a long time coming and was recently inspired by a friend of a friend who inquired about my thoughts. These posts will be my answer to his questions. I hope that it ends up being useful to others and I know it will be a good process for me as well.

-I'm not as scared of dating anymore. So go ahead--ask me out.

-The Nambas leave in 13 days. I love those people with all my heart. I'm not quite ready for them to leave. I'm pretty sure I will be sad for a while...so if you have been waiting to become better friends with me...just waiting for the right time to swoop in and engage...March 24th will probably be a good day for you to make your move.

-I'm back at counseling and learning TONS about myself, my family and how i'm rooted. It's lovely.

-I CAN NOT WAIT to start my new garden. I started the compost bin--which I LOVE, but my roommates HATE. I am thinking that Sunday mornings will be Banana Pancakes Gardening Day (i've started a new tradition of having oatmeal banana pancakes every sunday morning--and of course listening to the Jack Johnson song). I honestly learn more about God through gardening than attending a church gathering...so if you want to join my gardening church...come on over on Sundays in the spring!

-I turn 26 in 12 days. I will not be throwing myself a birthday party this year. I will be throwing a goodbye party for the nambas and hosting an invisible children dinner party instead. I like hosting better than attending, so why not?

What if I just left?

2007-07-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

maybe it's because of the ungodly hour my alarm goes off. maybe it's from a lack of sleep. maybe it's my job--or the things i'm missing out on while i'm at work. maybe it's the fact that my roommate is still asleep. but every morning at 3::45am i ask myself--"what am i doing??" why am i working at a coffeeshop? what am i doing with my life? normal people don't get up before 4am and work at Peets.

and then the question slides into the back of my mind--what would happen if i just didn't go?

i've always been a responsible, reliable, confident person. but in this season i find myself asking that question a lot, "what would happen if i didn't show up? what would happen if i just left? what would happen if i just went to sleep? just didn't answer my phone? cancelled? just flaked?"

i'm not sure why this has come up recently yet never before. i bet it has something to do with my continual state of disengagement. my eagerness to just give up.

in the craziness of the past year, i convinced myself that it was okay to feel the way i was feeling. it was okay to feel. but that has progressed into a general sense of wanting to escape.

speaking at camp was such a wonderful experience. until wednesday night. i got up in front of the room--started to talk--and then realized that i had lost all words. my notes didn't make sense--the words didn't come. i was jumbled and blank. as i continued to spout out random nonsense about fruit, plants and jesus, words were welling up and screaming inside of me, "what would happen if i just left?" all i wanted to do was leave. i kept playing it out in my head. if i could just go out the door time might stop and i wouldn't be held accountable for what just happened. i could spend another hour preparing and then come back and start over. i wanted to run. run away from problems, from commitments, from pressure, from disappointment.

that's what i've been doing. i've completely disengaged. in an effort to try and feel better ive resorted to disengaging with reality--who i really am, the way that i genuinely think, my normal demeanor, my joy, my routines. i sleep when i'm tired. i eat when i'm hungry. i hang out when i feel like it. i have fun if i'm convinced.

is this a selfish mindset?

i don't want to be like this anymore. when things get hard, i don't want to desire to run away. i've never been like this before. i don't want to be living anymore with that question arising all the time. i want to engage. i want to commit. i want to enjoy what the day holds. i want to have hope that each day can be an opportunity to help usher in the Kingdom of Heaven. i don't want to dread the day when i open my eyes. i want to have hope. find joy. connect.

and i keep going. i wake up. i go to work. i enjoy it. the words came to those kids at camp. god spoke. he used me. it was amazing. but i'm still haunted by those thoughts and what they could mean.

Reflections on community...

2007-07-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

Today our church met to discuss our values. I didn't feel like talking because I was exhausted...but once we started I came to life. We went around and talked about what we have valued over the last 5 months of meeting together (what we started out saying we value--and what we realistically have valued). It was nice to reflect on a little piece of the transition i've been walking through.

the past six months have forced me to rely on a small consistent group of people...not just a large network of friends to keep me occupied, but a small group of people who see me often, know my life situation, my hurts, my inconsistencies--but more than that--who i really am. i can honestly say that i've never experienced that before.

i have needed that. i wonder if we all need it. most of the time i didn't really want it. i wanted to stay home. or i wanted to be at vintage faith. i wanted to stand anonymously and sing with a crowd of people. i wanted to worship effortlessly--to walk into an environment that is automatically conducive to worship. and it hasn't been easy to not want that. that's what i've been taught to desire. and it is good. but in this season i have had to learn to make my home that environment, and my car, and my neighbors home where we meet to pray together. but that hasn't been what i've wanted. and i'm still learning how to really do thatt.

i sat with our community a few weeks ago voicing my frustration with my current state. letting them know how sad i was that i haven't been myself. They acknowledged that and affirmed that they know i haven't been myself, but can confidently say that they have a good idea of who i really am. i don't think a conversation like that can happen with people i only see once a week. who i stand next to and maybe grab a drink with after at the red room.

i've been experiencing what it's like when consistent people spend consistent time with one another. Whom i not only am friends with, but i intentionally worship with--and visa versa. The cliche statement of "doing life together" is really what i've been doing with a few people. eating together 3-4 times a week. stopping by after work. going to the park. praying. laughing. watching tv. it's not what i've wanted all the time--but it's what i've needed.

it's hard to see that as a church. but it is the community of believers that has walked with me. let me be where i'm at. adapted for me. asked me questions. prayed for me. loved me. and i'm so grateful to begin to realize what i truly have.